Irritable, irrational, and rambling…

I work weekends, twelve hour night shifts.  I like it, but it does make it hard for me to do fun things with my family.  The weekend nights are usually when the fun stuff happens, and the work is all on the weeknights.  Homework, baths, meals… that is the time I get with my girls.  I love every minute, but when do I get to have some fun? 

This weekend I can have off, because every seventh weekend we are able to take off if we have enough accrued PTO time.  It’s Memorial Day Weekend.  I didn’t know initially that I would be able to take this weekend, but it worked.  I have the PTO time to cover it.  I could work and save my PTO time… I considered this, and it is still a possibility to pick up the shift tonight.  I picked up one shift earlier in the week, so that saved me 12 hours.  Now I just need to use 24 hours of PTO.  That’s not so bad.  

My dilemma is this:  I have asked several times if my husband wants me to go to this cookout at his friends house with him, because the invite has not been extended to me.  The answer is never a “I would love it if you go” or “It would be great to have you there” or “Yeah, you should come with us and meet all my friends”.  

We have been married now for eight years.  He started school a year ago, and has new friends, friends that I have never met but he spends a lot of time with.  He has plans to go to this cookout with my two daughters, and has not even asked to see if I wanted to go.  He says “I want you to do what you want to do” – – – what I want to do is be a part of this family, be wanted by my family.   I just want to know that you want me to be there – – – I am a little bit offended… but should I be? I don’t know.  But I am.  

So now, after a power outage that left me unable to do anything to keep myself awake last night, I am well rested for a day schedule, and will be exhausted if I do try to work tonight. 

When I ask him about it it is “you don’t have to go” or “I thought you were gonna be working”…

Is it wrong that I just want him to want me to be there?  

Am I completely irrational about this?  

Okay, rant over.  

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One thought on “Irritable, irrational, and rambling…

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  1. Hmmm- not to alarm you, but it looks like he wants his friends to himself. If I were you I’d just get ready and join him. Both of you come as a team etc. I’m sure you’ll do the same if the case was reversed. Good luck!😁

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