Writing can be a release of pent up emotions. Writing can free you of thoughts yet to escape your mind. When there is no one to talk to, there is paper waiting patiently for words to take an inky form on its smooth surface.
Still, those emotions, thoughts, memories can bubble up and linger in your mind after they have been released.
Some of these blog entries have been extremely hard to get out into the world. Some of these memories I have shared with no one until WordPress came along and gave me an outlet. Liberating as it has been, it has also been one of the most difficult things I have done for myself.
My last post addressed the time I was so low and hopeless that I contemplated suicide… no one ever knew about that. My husband still does not know. I haven’t shared this blog with him, he knows that I have been writing and also knows that I am not quite ready to share my writing with him.
The last week or so, that last blog post has sat as a draft on my site. I finally decided it was worth sharing, because it happens to many people. Many people don’t get interrupted in their attempt, many people do not get the chance to keep going when they feel so hopeless. I did – and I am forever grateful that my family came home early that day.
Depression may not ever go away for me. This has been a lifelong struggle, one I continue to conquor just to have it reach back up from the depths of my soul to drag me back down. I am currently feeling pretty low, and sometimes I don’t notice it until I have lashed out and hurt my family with my mood swings and crotchety ways. I hate what I become when depression rears its ugly face.
Working hard to get back out of it, I am focusing on things that make me happy. Writing being one of them, and my daughters the main happy-provoking things in my life. I have began another site, What Wendy Writes, here on WordPress. This is going to be a place for my creating writing, a place where I can focus on the happy writing- not the therapeutic delve into my past.
I hope you can check it out, and I look forward to sharing many things with you 😉